By Seth Mullins
Over the last few decades, our culture has become
less and less clear about its messages to parents and other guardians
and educators of its children. Parents often experience doubts or
guilt regarding the decisions they make for their children's
sake because they receive so much conflicting advice from various
"experts" in the field of child rearing.
Much
of this confusion is a result of the rapid changes our society as
a whole has been going through. We've discarded a lot of old
notions about what the roles for men and women should be, but we
haven't always been able to replace the models that we've
done away with. Basically we have embarked upon an age of experimentation.
We're working mostly with both helpful and not-so-helpful
input from other parents and teachers who are in the same boat as
we are.
We’re likely to have an easier time throughout
this period of trial and error if we can shed the belief that we
must be perfect parents the first time around. The life of the family
is a learning experience not only for children but also for their
guardians. If we are gentle with ourselves then our lessons will
likewise be gentler. We’re going to be venturing into a lot
of unexplored areas with our children, and we’ll need to trust
our gut feelings and intuition. We may have firm notions about doing
everything contrary to the ways that our parents did them, or we
may encounter situations where their tried and true approaches seem
to work best.
 What
is most important is that our love and compassion for our children
be the forces that govern our decisions. If we are to do without
role models and scripts throughout our lives as parents, then our
hearts must be our guides.
Dispensing with the old blueprints for how mothers
and fathers should raise their children can be seen as a fruitful
phase in the growth of humanity. We have an opportunity to try new
approaches that could potentially work better than the methods that
previous generations have used. This process will go a lot smoother
for us if we can let go of the expectation that we be completely
enlightened parents. Redefining our identities as men and women
is a task that requires leeway and a little room for error. Journeys
into unknown territory often involve taking two steps forward and
one step back.
We swell with pride in seeing our young ones make
their first baby steps. Why not, then, take a little pride in our
own?
Article written by Seth Mullins.
All opinions expressed are that of the writer.
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