Development at 53 Months
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Activity 1
Age Appropriate Social Development
Asks For 'Help' When Needed
 Being able to ask for help whenever I need is an important social skill. I can better accept my own limitations, face difficulties and work towards solving them when I can appropriately ask you, other adults or peers for help. Imagine if I do not know how to ask for help. I may resort to negative coping such as withdrawal or rejecting doing the task entirely. I will learn to ask for help when I need between 48 and 72 months (4 years and 6 years). |
Steps
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Use any natural situations where you know your child will face some difficulty. - E.g. buttoning small buttons on his shirt, opening a bottle of soft drink with a tight cap, opening a biscuit tin, cutting along a line with a training scissors, peeling a particular sticker, etc.
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Observe whether your child: a. Asks for help from someone b. Use courteous language when he asks.
Feedback
At this stage, your child is recognizing with your teaching, the limits of his capabilities and knows when to ask for help appropriately and when to persist in trying on his own. He feels safe and confident to ask for help whenever he needs. You are also doing wonderfully in teaching him to request for help politely.
Look at the suggested ideas for more ideas to use this skill.
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Help your child to generalize the asking for help with other people and peers. Use his favorite cartoon or story character to point out that these characters also asks for help from friends (e.g. Winnie the Pooh). Highlight that friends and family help one another and we all need help sometimes.
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Think about situations that you will need help from your child. E.g. a cap that rolls under the sofa but your hand is too big to sneak under to take it out. Use these times to highlight the lesson that ""we all need help sometimes"".
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Model for your child your appreciation of help given. Teach him to say "Thank you" when someone helps him.
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Teaching a child to ask for help:
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Acknowledge your child's requests by taking a look at his task and finding out specifically what he needs help in. (e.g. "Let's see what we can do. Ah...the bottle cap is too tight")
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If you observe that he has tried his best to solve the problem, empathize that it is indeed difficult. ("Yes, this cap is difficult to turn on because it is tight").
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Feedback 2
If you observe that your child finds it difficult to ask for help even though he knows he needs it, lets try to understand the reasons why. You may have wanted your child to grow up as independent and as tough as he can as early in life. After all, the world's demands are never easy.
Pause and think about whether you are expecting your child to be independent too quickly. If so, be patient with him as he is only four. He may genuinely have some difficulties that are appropriate for children his age. Look at the suggested ideas for ways to teach him this skill appropriately so that he will not be overly dependent on others.
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Praise for efforts, not only for successes. Try providing positive feedback by encouraging him to achieve while he is doing the task. Never use personal put down criticisms like "Why can’t you do anything for yourself”, "Why are you so stupid". It hurts your child and shakes his confidence.
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 Patiently teach your child that it is ok to ask for help sometimes.
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Acknowledge your child's requests by taking a look at his task and finding out specifically what he needs help in. (e.g. "Let's see what we can do. Ah...the bottle cap is too tight")
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If you observe that he has tried his best to solve the problem, empathize that it is indeed difficult. ("Yes, this cap is difficult to turn on because it is tight").
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Help him start off.
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Guide him to do the rest.
When you assess that he can do it himself:
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Hold back your physical help
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Do not use any verbal advice
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Just encourage him to try on his own
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Praise him for his efforts
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Build your child's confidence by:
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Allowing him permission to sometimes try and fail.
Each child has their strengths and their weaknesses. Marvel at the former and work with him on the latter.
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Holding back any tendency to prompt and help by advising.
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Letting him achieve more tasks successfully than failing in them.
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Praise him for his efforts, never on whether he has achieved something or no.
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Think about situations that you will need help from your child. E.g. a cap that rolls under the sofa but your hand is too big to sneak under to take it out. Use these times to highlight the lesson that "we all need help sometimes, even mummy or daddy."
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Use his favorite cartoon or story character to point out that these characters also asks for help from his friends (e.g. Winnie the Pooh). Highlight that friends and family help one another and we all need help sometimes.
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Activity 2
Age Appropriate Speech, Language And Communication Development
Follows 4 - Step Instructions In Order
 When I am presented with instructions, I might respond verbally or with gestures. In either case, it shows understanding of words; being able to attach meanings to words and therefore be able to respond to them. When given 4 simple commands that link up logically, I am able to carry out your instructions. I usually develop the ability to follow 4-step instructions in the right order when I am between 50 and 58 months (4 year 2 months and 4 year 10 months). |
Steps
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Present 4 short and simple, related instructions to your child.
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Observe if your child is able to carry out the 4 related instructions in the order given.
Feedback
You can bring your child to the next level by introducing more steps to the instructions. Always make sure instructions are easy to understand. Prompt where necessary and be ready to explain any words he doesn't understand. If your child has difficulty understanding the instructions, rephrase it so that he will be able to understand you.
You can try out the ideas in the suggested activities as well.
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Make sure your child understands what you are saying. For example, does he understand what take off your shoes mean? If he cannot understand your instructions, then he obviously doesn't know how to respond.
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Prompt where necessary. If your child appears lost after one instruction, give him gestural and/or verbal cues. Alternatively, you can model the actions for your child and let him imitate.
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If your child has difficulties with too many instructions, start off with one instruction then slowly 2 instructions. Make sure you get your child's attention. Squat down so that you on the same level and he can see your face clearly. Pause before you deliver the second instruction so that he has time to process the information. Lots of praise for effort!
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