Development at 35 Months
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Activity 1
Age Appropriate Activity
Uses Adult-Like Grasp To Hold Pencil
 I am learning to hold a pencil just like you! Place a sheet of blank paper and a pencil on the table before me. Observe if I am able to hold the pencil using an adult-like grasp which is also called the dynamic tripod grasp. A dynamic tripod grasp involves an efficient grasp of the pencil using the thumb, index finger and middle fingers. Ideally, the pencil should rest comfortably on my web space. Observe if I can grasp the pencil this way and scribble on the paper. I usually develop this skill when I am between 28 and 39 months. |
Steps
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Place a sheet of blank paper and a pencil on the table before your child.
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Observe if he is able to hold the pencil using an adult-like grasp which is also called the dynamic tripod grasp.
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A dynamic tripod grasp involves an efficient grasp of the pencil using the thumb, index finger and middle fingers, with the pencil resting comfortably on the web space.
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Observe if your child is able to grasp the pencil this way and scribble on the paper.
Feedback
Your child is developing good fine motor control essential for writing at this stage! You will notice that as he continues to develop his writing skills, the movements he uses to write will come more from the wrist than from the entire arm. You may look at the suggested activities for more ideas with this task.
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 Encourage your child to hold a pencil using the adult-like grasp whenever he is writing or drawing. This will help him build strong finger muscles necessary for writing.
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You can physically guide your child as he writes by helping him hold his pencil correctly. Gradually decrease your help as he improves.
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You can try using pencil grips available commercially to help your child hold a pencil using the dynamic tripod grasp. Triangular grips or those with a finger and thumb impression may be particularly useful in helping him place his thumb and fingers correctly.
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Using thicker and shorter pencils may also help your child learn to control the pencil better.
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Let him have lots of practice using the pincer grasp by having him pick up tiny objects like soya beans, macaroni, raisins, etc.
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To improve strength of the pincer grasp, you may let your child play with clothes pegs. Let him practice pinching the hands of the clothes pegs to open and close them.
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Playing with play dough and exercise putty may also help your child develop better finger control.
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Activity 2
Age Appropriate Social Development
Starts to Understand and Obey Simple Rules
 I understand clearly the rules you have for me. I know for example that you will be upset with me if I purposefully hit or am rude with somebody or when I throw or destroy things. I do remember your rules and will try to obey them. I may even tell on another child who disobeyed these rules. But occasionally I still may forget. I will feel ashamed when you remind me of the rule I have broken and need you to patiently teach me. I will begin to obey and respect simple rules from 24 months onwards. |
Steps
Feedback
Your child is learning about rules at this stage. Some days, he co-operates with the rules you set and seems like the angel you wished. At other times, he breaks these rules and needs you to enforce them. You sigh and realize then that he is still only a young child who needs external consequences and reminders for him to follow rules. Parenting in this fast paced world can be challenging, so please do not be discouraged. Try to understand where your child's non-compliance comes from.
While it is great in giving your child his independent space and power, it is equally important that he has to learn appropriate limits for the power that he has been given. Even though your child is young, he is able to know concretely what is right and wrong. He definitely has the ability to control his impulses sometimes at this age. You can and should try to teach him when it is a "no-no" for you in situations. This helps him to know at an early age how to get along with others and at the same time have a good degree of self-independence.
With each consistent reminder and establishment of the rules, your child is definitely learning to understand that these simple rules are important to you. Take a look at the suggested ideas to help establish some of these rules.
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Decide and be clear in your mind early on what are the golden rules that are important to you. E.g. when it concerns his and others safety, respect for people and objects, politeness to elders, certain daily routines, you may want to put your foot down. This is important because: -
You can be clear and consistent in applying your "No, I want you to stop this" and "It's OK. I can accept this behavior as independence" statements.
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Your child will be clear and learn what your limits are and yet appreciate some independence.
- Your child will learn to be more organize and still develop a nice sense of self confidence.
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Catch your child when he is good and reinforce any positive behavior. Ignore him when he is trying to get your attention negatively. This has to be consistently applied for situations so that he realizes what is acceptable behavior in which situation.
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Do not be afraid to use time out strategies whenever your child has broken your golden rules intentionally and has overstepped his boundary. Let him know in a short, sharp and firm manner how angry you are that he has broken a stated rule. Fix a particular place in the house as a time-out corner (make sure the place is safe). Let him stand there for 3-5 minutes or until he quiets down. Highlight the consequence of being sent to the time-out corner. He is to be left alone, no one will talk to him, he has to think about the rule he needs to follow. Leave him there and tell him he will only step out of the corner when you come to him. Review the rule with him when he is ready and then let him leave the corner. After he leaves the corner, put the episode behind you. Interact with him with your usual love and concern.
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